Loneliness is something that commonly affects converts to Islam, but it’s not always just converts who feel loneliness in Islam. Whether you’re a convert or born Muslim, here are some practical ways to help ease loneliness both practically and spiritually.

As an emotion, loneliness can be difficult to cope with. Islam stresses the importance of community and brotherhood (or sisterhood) to help. However, in today’s modern world, we can often feel isolated despite being so digitally connected. So how do we find that sense of community?

As someone who became Muslim, I totally understand how you feel. I had no Muslim family, and my weekends consisted of going out and drinking. What on earth did I do now I was Muslim, and who on earth do I go out with?

I had to change my life and my social life completely.

Some friends stopped inviting me out immediately, while others still invited me out but stopped once I kept declining.

So what did I do, and how did I find a fulfilling life as a new Muslim?

These are all methods I’ve used myself as a converted Muslim, and I guarantee if you follow these, you’ll feel less lonely. The most important first step is taking action!

So, what exactly can you do to fight loneliness? What is the most effective?

Here are the best ways to help with loneliness from the ‘sunnah’ and my personally recommended ones too.

11 powerful ways to help with loneliness

1) Attend an Islamic centre or mosque

This is the first and most important. but one which people often feel shy about. You don’t need to be the perfect Muslim to go here or know everything about Islam.

Check if they have a newsletter or find their office and ask about classes. Once you register your details, they will normally keep you updated with events and courses.

The second part is to be involved regularly, which is important to connect with other Muslims.

If a few different centres are available near to you, visit each one a few times and see which are more active within their community. If you’re a convert, try to find one that is popular with converts, as they will typically understand your struggles better.

Classes are a great way to increase your knowledge and give you a chance to get to know others. Start with a new Muslim class or an Arabic class if you’re worried you don’t have enough knowledge.

Many classes are online but, if you’re feeling lonely, it’s better to find classes in person. As you won’t make the same connections online compared to face-to-face classes.

If you’re male, of course, attending the prayers in the congregation is mandatory, but try to have a chat with those attending.

If you’re a woman, attending can also help with loneliness. Just feeling connected in the prayer and hearing the beautiful recitations greatly helped me. Then, Inshallah you’ll meet others going regularly too.

Many people pray and then go on with their daily lives, I’ve definitely found the classes more effective for meeting people.

Prayer rooms at work can also be another great place to meet fellow Muslims and I’ve found people tend to be more chatty here. Usually asking where you work, what department or when you became Muslim.

2) Volunteer

Volunteering for a Muslim charity or for your local Islamic centre or mosque is another great option.

If you put yourself forward, you will definitely meet more people! Both from getting to know those you are volunteering with and also those you come into contact with from volunteering.

On top of this, you’ll feel more positive and part of the community. If you help at the Islamic Center, inshallah, you can help some fellow converts too.

Volunteering is something I highly recommend! I volunteered for my local Islamic centre when I first converted, and I really enjoyed having that sense of purpose. Plus it meant I chatted to lots of sisters too.

3) Don’t be afraid to reach out

I know it’s not a normal thing for us to ask, and it can feel very awkward. However, if a holiday is coming up and you’re worried about being alone, ask a Muslim family or neighbour if you can come to join them.

Just a simple, “I really hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m often alone when breaking my Iftar during Ramadan. Would it be possible to join you one evening?”

Sometimes, people don’t realise that you’re alone. Especially if they are born Muslims.

It’s the same for us when it comes to Christmas. We tend just to assume everyone has someone they can spend time with. However, there are people out there who are all alone but others won’t know it unless you say.

Reach out to your local Imam or Islamic centre also. They have a communal event or decide to put together an event if they know it is needed in the community.

If you feel depressed or like your mental health isn’t good, then definitely make sure to speak to a professional. A qualified Islamic counsellor can help. I personally recommend Michelle from Bright4Life as she is also a revert. She understands our unique struggles and offers online counselling across the globe.

4) Build your family relationships

If you’re a convert, in the beginning, this will be tough for most of us; some families may even cut you out completely. However, don’t lose hope!

Keep trying to make things better with them. Try to share with them the positives in your life where you can. Don’t keep Islam like some topic that is top secret. Involve them. Then, try to build bridges.

I’ve seen many reverts be ashamed to share their Muslim life with their own family, and this conveys to your family that it is something to be ashamed of. They’re also never going to gain an understanding of something if they never witness any of it!

Of course, it may be awkward at first but keep going on. Family is important, and you’ll definitely feel lonely if you can’t speak to them anymore.

For example, rather than saying, “Sorry, I’m busy on Friday.” Say, “Sorry, I have to go to Friday prayer at lunchtime.” Even if they make a negative comment, they might google ‘What is Friday prayer’, and these little things can really have a much larger impact than you realise.

If they do say something horrible, try to stay calm and not get defensive or shout if you can. Try to sit down with them and ask questions. “Why do you feel this way? What has upset you?” Listen to them first and then see where you can reassure them.

I found explaining that “I’m still the same person as before, just my belief system has changed” helped a lot.

The less you make it a big deal, the less they’ll see it as a big deal. I worked in sales for many years, and this really works in many situations!

Even if you’re a born Muslim, remember to keep those family relationships as our behaviour towards our parents is part of our deen. It can be hard getting that balance, but usually, they do things from a good place and want the best for you.

5) Use technology

These days, with social media and online communities, you can reach out and find other Muslims in your area.

Personally, I prefer Instagram since you can connect one-on-one with sisters or brothers (if you’re male) to chat. It’s more personal and people are more friendly on Instagram.

Facebook groups are much less personal, and sisters can be quite harsh to each other. If you are a new Muslim, I would tread with caution on Facebook groups because not all the advice you will get will be good or even Islamically sound.

So feel free to join them but remember, don’t take everything to heart on the internet and don’t accept everything either!

But meeting in person should always be the preferred way if you can, as often these types of relationships don’t give you the full emotional connection and can even make us feel even lonelier when we neglect our real lives for the digital instead. It’s also very easy to look at other people’s lives online and feel like their lives are perfect. Adding to the sadness and loneliness.

So my advice is this: use technology to help make relationships that turn into real-life ones rather than relying on technology for a relationship with the ummah. It should be your bridge, not your end goal.

6) Be active & approach people

If you see another woman wearing a hijab in the street, don’t be afraid to go up to them and start a conversation. Even with your local centre, don’t be afraid to speak to other members there. It is Sunnah to say ‘salam alaikum’ to another Muslim remember!

I know this isn’t easy, and thankfully, I live in Dubai. Where people are so much more friendly!

However, even in the UK (where I’m from), people are more closed off. Often, starting a conversation completely changes the demeanour of a person. I’ve found being cheery and starting a bit of a dialogue works wonders. As British people can be more closed off.

Don’t forget to take the initiative yourself. Start a coffee morning for people similar to you, whether that’s for Muslim Mums or Converts. Create a WhatsApp group for people to meet up.

Attend Islamic events regularly, and don’t be afraid to travel if you live in a smaller place with very few Muslims. Only by regularly attending somewhere will you start to get to know the people. After seeing you a few times they may ask, “Hi, I’ve seen you for a few weeks here, are you new in the area?”

I see many women saying they feel lonely. However, when they are invited to an event, they don’t go!

You have to ignore that voice of doubt in your head, which says you’re scared or you’re too tired. Just go for it! Once you’re there, you’ll be glad you did! That initial step is the hardest.

7) Get married

Okay, Danni, easy for you to say! Marriage will usually solve your loneliness, whether we like to admit it or not! Marriage is part of your half Deen, but you must approach getting married with a determined attitude and an open-mindedness.

Of course, we all have our ideal list of what we want in a partner. However, if they don’t tick all of these while having the right intentions and a good heart, that is more important than the right career. Allah is the best of providers, after all.

The irony of my marriage, I never thought I would marry the nationality I did, or they would be a Doctor. I never set out to marry a doctor, but many people put that on their wish list. Here I am, not caring at all and ended up marrying a doctor.

I thought I would marry someone with their own business since I have a passion for business. My Dad has his own business too.

So if I’d been so set on what I thought was right for me, maybe I would have said, “No, I don’t want a Doctor. They work long hours, and it’s not the same as owning your own business.” Then I never would have married my husband!

Also, yes, it’s not easy these days. Yes, you’ll have to keep meeting people, which will feel impossible some days.

Also, be aware of some of the toxic attitudes towards men in the West we see! Things like “All men are bad” or “There are no good men left.” This is totally not true!

8) Use these duas for loneliness

There are many different duas you can use, depending on what you prefer:

Duas for companionship

Allahumma yassir-li jaleesan saalihaa.
O Allah! Bless me with a good pious companion.
(Bukhari 3742)

Fatira assamawatiwal-ardi anta waliyyee fee addunyawal-akhirati tawaffanee musliman waalhiqneebissaliheen.
Creator of the heavens and earth, You are my protector in this world and in the Hereafter. Cause me to die a Muslim and join me with the righteous.
(Surah Yusuf 12:101)

Dua for when you feel lonely, distressed or sad

Allah, Allah, Rabbi la ushriku bihi syai’a.
Allah, Allah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him.
(Sunan Ibn Majah 3882)

Yaa Ḥayyu yaa Qayyūm, bi-raḥmatika astaghiith.
O Living, O Self-Sustaining Sustainer! In Your Mercy do I seek relief.
(Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3524)

Dua for healing relationships

Wallaahu yahdee mai yashaaa’u ilaa Siraatim Mustaqeem
Allah, by His Grace, Guided the believers to the Truth concerning their differences. For Allah guided whom He will to a straight path.
(Surah Al Baqarah 2:213)

There are many times when we are told Allah answers our duas. These are when we’re in sujood or prostrating to Allah, when we pray in the night before dawn, after our obligatory prayers and when rain falls. There are more, but I find these are the easiest to make use of in our daily lives.

9) Have patience and faith

Look, I know, I hate this answer also. There’s nothing worse than when you feel lonely, someone telling you to have faith in Allah! However, it is true. Saying Alhamdullilah, even if you don’t 100% feel like it will make you feel a little bit better.

Having that gratefulness, no matter what your situation is, goes a long way.

It helps stop you from focusing on the feeling of being lonely.

Allah has promised us that He will never leave us on our own in moments of hardship; “And lo! Allah is ever Near” (Qur’an 2:186). So even if it feels like it sometimes, you are never truly alone!

10) Don’t focus on being lonely

If you wake up every day and say, “Why am I not married?” or “I feel so lonely.” This increases the amount of loneliness that you feel.

If you continue focusing on these daily, this is all you will see in your life.

Change the way you frame things in your mind. Rather than “I wish I had someone to share my life with.” Instead, focus on the positive of not yet being married.

“Alhamdulillah, I am single. I have all of my own free time. I don’t have tasks I need to do for someone else, and I can go with my friends without worrying about if my husband needs me.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not encouraging anyone to stay single. I enjoy being married; having someone to share your life with is amazing. I prefer it over being single, but I miss days when I could go to the Islamic centre and sign up for the classes without worrying. Okay, I can go, but I have so many tasks I need to do around the house.

That freedom of time is lovely and is something you give up for a long time once you get married and especially when you have children.

Everything has its own different blessings. Don’t forget that!

11) Don’t let Shaytan trick you

We must be self-aware and remember that Shaytan will use our insecurities against us, whether that’s tricking us into not going to the Masjid or putting doubts in our minds about meeting up with other sisters.

Reflect on why you feel a certain way and be strong.

Keep your regular prayers, use dua and seek protection from Allah.

Check your intentions and purify your heart.

This works together to help as a whole with many of the issues we face as Muslims. This is part of our struggle as Muslims.

Find comfort in Islam’s teachings, which emphasise the importance of social interaction, companionship and building relationships. The importance of community and brotherhood. Strive to foster meaningful relationships with others.

Abu Huraira reported: “Six are the rights of a Muslim over another Muslim. It was said to him: Allah’s Messenger, what are these? Thereupon, he said: When you meet him, offer him greetings; when he invites you to a feast, accept it. when he seeks your council, give him, and when he sneezes and says:” All praise is due to Allah,” you say Yarhamuk Allah (may Allah show mercy to you), and when he fails ill visit him; and when he dies follow his bier.” (Sahih Muslim 2162b).

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Before you go, make sure to read some of my other helpful articles:

What is Ramadan like in Dubai? Should I visit Dubai during Ramadan and what to expect
Converting to Muslim in Dubai; what is the process like and how do I do it?
Where can I attend an English Khutbah in Dubai? Mosques doing English sermons

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Conclusion

I hope these tips help, and feel free to contact me if you’re a convert and struggling. I’m happy to respond as long as I can clearly see you’re a sister.

The most important out of all of these is making dua regularly, having faith in Allah when we have struggles and doing our best to be an active member of the Muslim community. Then, inshallah, all the other things will follow.

Alhamdulillah, when I asked Allah for a good group of sisters, I was blessed with the most wonderful women around me.

When I was going through a really tough time in my life, I made dua in sujood. I asked Allah, “Please, I know this life is difficult, and I will be tested, but at least let me have someone through these difficult times.” Then, Subhanallah, I met my husband only a few months later.

If Allah hasn’t answered your dua yet, remember that Allah knows best. We often do not see Allah’s wisdom until after time has passed and see the final result.

It is completely normal to have ups and downs to feel unhappy sometimes. Finding healthy ways to cope, such as exercising or reading the Quran, is equally important. May Allah bless you and guide you inshallah, Ameen.

FAQs

Why are many converts to Islam lonely?

Loneliness is extremely common in the convert community (learn more about the meaning of revert here), and many factors contribute to this.

The biggest factor for many is that Islam is so different to their previous lifestyle before they converted, and finding a new way of life is not an easy transition.

On top of this huge lifestyle change, both family and friends may choose to distance themselves from them and even go as far as disowning them. Even if they maintain good relations, lifestyle changes can make holidays or other events difficult.

They may also live in a country where there is hostility towards Muslims; this can definitely complicate things! As they may be scared to be visibly Muslim or talk to people about Islam. Some may even be scared that anyone will find out that they’re Muslim.

In some circumstances, reverts also choose to distance themselves from others as they find their Islamic way of life is at odds with those around them, including family. However, I would always encourage Muslims not to isolate themselves where possible. As Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessings be upon him said):

“The believer who mixes with people and is patient with their harm has a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people, nor is patient with their harm.”

Sunan Ibn Mājah 4032

Ramadan in particular, can be very lonely for converts without family. They fast alone and break their fast alone in many cases.

If you happen to read this as someone who is a born Muslim, please, please, please invite converts to your home. Especially during Ramadan! If you see someone at the Masjid on their own, have a chat with them. If you don’t feel comfortable at home, arrange a meal together outside for iftar.

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*This article contains affiliate links, as an Amazon Associate and a member of other affiliate programs, I earn a commission when you click a link and a qualifying purchase is made. (See Disclosure for more details)